Years ago, I remember watching "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown" and hearing him say that Christmas in the Philippines starts in September. I've been to the Philippines before and thought that that was utter bull poop.
But, today I was in the Philippines on September 1 at a Chinese restaurant, and the radio station at the restaurant was playing Silent Night. Whoa.
Monday, September 2, 2019
Friday, March 8, 2019
My first Impossible Burger (from a Top Chef who was eliminated making burgers!)
The realization of this day has taken far too long to arrive. I have read far too many articles and blogs and seen far too many videos. You'd think I were an industry insider trying to gauge public perception of it. But nope, I'm just an enthusiast. And I don't even eat that many burgers.
Despite the acclaim, an amazing number of people don't know what the Impossible Burger is. There are tons of articles out there telling you what it is (I should know, I've probably read half of them). But in 60 seconds or fewer, the Impossible Burger is a vegan burger patty designed from the ground up to taste like a hamburger. While obviously not the first entrant into the veggie burger market, the Impossible Burger is part of a small group of new patties designed from the ground up to be everything a hamburger is without being a hamburger. Impossible Foods' scientists examined the burger in order to understand what makes a hamburger a hamburger. (I've now used the word "hamburger" five, er, six times in the last few sentences. Sorry not sorry.) Taste is obviously one thing, but there's more to it than that: There's the way it cooks up, the way you can sear it and have a great crust on the outside and a tender reddish inside. Speaking of "reddish", there's color. There's smell. Ultimately, they identified several proteins, the most predominant of which is called "heme" (think "hemoglobin"). Heme can be derived from plants. Get the right ingredients in the right proportions, assemble them, add some magical pixie dust, and you have the Impossible Burger!
Problem is, I don't eat a lot of burgers in restaurants. Not that they're not delicious; more that, if I wanted a burger, I'll make it at home. I go to restaurants to eat things that I can't eat at home or are such a pain in the @$$ to make at home that I'll happily pay someone else to do it (baked goods, eggs benedict, fried chicken, and pizza come to mind).
But I can't make an Impossible Burger. So when I was in LAX airport yesterday, I hunted around for one. Fabio Viviani is a former Top Chef contestant, and how hilarious is it that I came to his 3-year-old restaurant for a burger, considering that he was eliminated from the contest when his burger failed to make the cut. On the show, he confessed that he couldn't even pronounce "boo-ger".
A big nothing-burger
Forgive the headline: The burger was fine. But I'll cut to the chase: The restaurant is ridiculously overpriced for what you get.
Fabio's description of the Impossible Burger: Peppers, balsamic onions, sun-dried tomato and arugula. Actually very befitting an Italian chef. I was a little concerned that I wouldn't be able to taste the burger, and I was right. The burger was so full of rich ingredients that it was also "impossible" to make a full judgment. It was also so rich, it was nearly "impossible" to eat. I didn't finish it. Normally, I feel badly about such things, as I do not want an animal to die and end up in the trash. Fortunately, no animals got killed, here. Just a bunch of arugula. And those arugula leaves had it coming, anyway.
The burger lives up to the hype of being "impossible" to tell it from a regular burger. Well, actually, I detected an aftertaste, but I'd never know if that was the burger without either ordering a completely plain version of it, or ordering the exact same burger made from felled bovine. But ultimately, if somebody handed the burger to me and didn't tell me anything, I wouldn't have noticed that I was eating vegan.
At the end of the day, I'll eat an Impossible Burger again. But as for Fabio's Osteria....
What bothered me about this place was the brazen pricing. I've eaten my way through probably 30 Michelin stars in my life. I'm willing to shell out good dough for some good eats. But in this place, a burger, cocktail, and an order of meatballs does not a $70 meal make. Especially not when the waiter forgets part of your order and nearly makes you late for your flight.
Sorry, Fabio. Please pack your knives and go.
Despite the acclaim, an amazing number of people don't know what the Impossible Burger is. There are tons of articles out there telling you what it is (I should know, I've probably read half of them). But in 60 seconds or fewer, the Impossible Burger is a vegan burger patty designed from the ground up to taste like a hamburger. While obviously not the first entrant into the veggie burger market, the Impossible Burger is part of a small group of new patties designed from the ground up to be everything a hamburger is without being a hamburger. Impossible Foods' scientists examined the burger in order to understand what makes a hamburger a hamburger. (I've now used the word "hamburger" five, er, six times in the last few sentences. Sorry not sorry.) Taste is obviously one thing, but there's more to it than that: There's the way it cooks up, the way you can sear it and have a great crust on the outside and a tender reddish inside. Speaking of "reddish", there's color. There's smell. Ultimately, they identified several proteins, the most predominant of which is called "heme" (think "hemoglobin"). Heme can be derived from plants. Get the right ingredients in the right proportions, assemble them, add some magical pixie dust, and you have the Impossible Burger!
 |
| The menu at Fabio's Osteria. |
A big nothing-burger
 |
| The Impossible Burger. I was healthy and skipped the fries. |
 |
| It looks like a burger and quacks like a burger. |
The burger lives up to the hype of being "impossible" to tell it from a regular burger. Well, actually, I detected an aftertaste, but I'd never know if that was the burger without either ordering a completely plain version of it, or ordering the exact same burger made from felled bovine. But ultimately, if somebody handed the burger to me and didn't tell me anything, I wouldn't have noticed that I was eating vegan.
At the end of the day, I'll eat an Impossible Burger again. But as for Fabio's Osteria....
Sorry, Fabio. Please pack your knives and go.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Alan Bean (1932 - 2018)
He's not even famous enough to trend on Facebook, but he's one of only 12 in our species to have walked on the moon. Alan was probably one of the most "human" and least "macho" of the astronauts: While all of other the astronauts jockeyed to be first on the moon, Alan didn't care what number he'd be, so long as he got there. While the majority of the astronauts seemed to live their lives fearlessly, Alan was quite up front about his fears: I know in some interview, he talked about how on the windows of the Lunar Module, it was 1/4 inch of glass separating life from death at all times. And while the other astronauts spent what little free time they did working on cars and hunting and fishing, Alan liked painting, and he continued to do so throughout his post-Apollo life.
While some may read that and paint him in some "less" of a light than the other astronauts, he was anything but incompetent. He was a test pilot, logging over 7,100 hours in a profession that doesn't forgive error. He was the fourth person to walk on the moon in the Ocean of Storms, in Apollo 12 under his test pilot instructor, Pete Conrad, no less. He, Pete, and Dick Gordon (all deceased, now) were probably the most tightly-knit crew of all that went to the moon, having all been friends beforehand. He also co-saved the mission of Apollo 12. When lightning rode the spacecraft’s contrail all the way up and down to Earth, all onboard electronics scrambled, causing them to fly blind. A (now-famous) flight controller named John Aaron issued a command to "try SCE to auxiliary". Astronauts train for a lot of situations, but nobody trained for that, let alone knew anything about this so-called “SCE” switch. But Alan did: He found it, flipped it, telemetry was restored, and they went to the moon.
Alan went on later to command Skylab 3, which set a world record at the time for 59 days in space. He also served as backup commander of the Apollo-Soyuz mission, which famously involved the US meeting up with its formal space-rival, Russia, for the first time.
Rest in peace, Captain.
While some may read that and paint him in some "less" of a light than the other astronauts, he was anything but incompetent. He was a test pilot, logging over 7,100 hours in a profession that doesn't forgive error. He was the fourth person to walk on the moon in the Ocean of Storms, in Apollo 12 under his test pilot instructor, Pete Conrad, no less. He, Pete, and Dick Gordon (all deceased, now) were probably the most tightly-knit crew of all that went to the moon, having all been friends beforehand. He also co-saved the mission of Apollo 12. When lightning rode the spacecraft’s contrail all the way up and down to Earth, all onboard electronics scrambled, causing them to fly blind. A (now-famous) flight controller named John Aaron issued a command to "try SCE to auxiliary". Astronauts train for a lot of situations, but nobody trained for that, let alone knew anything about this so-called “SCE” switch. But Alan did: He found it, flipped it, telemetry was restored, and they went to the moon.
Alan went on later to command Skylab 3, which set a world record at the time for 59 days in space. He also served as backup commander of the Apollo-Soyuz mission, which famously involved the US meeting up with its formal space-rival, Russia, for the first time.
Rest in peace, Captain.
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